Foster Parents FAQ » Foster Parents Paid » Permanent foster care
Permanent foster care
Question:
Hi Ollie We have fostered 7- 14 year old’s for the last 5 years, and we have a permeant foster son, treat them as your own child show them love. I still have some boys come stay with me for weekends and holidays. You seem to never forget any of them and they you. You my get some problems from other family members. But we always remember the great times and the not so good somehow get forgotten. All the best ( and stick with it remember every time a child is moved that is a new scar) Ray Johnson ( Australia) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Redneck wrote in message … >My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My >question(s) to the group: >1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent foster care. >2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and what should >we be on the lookout for? >We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. >Any input would be much appreciated…… >Thanks >Ollie
Response:
You are 100% right I have never had any problems with the boys we have had (7) in all. Ray Johnson – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Bob wrote in message <3729087E.C6E5E…@yahoo.com>… >> They’re teenagers. That should be warning enough. >Not all teens are bad… as a mater of fact most of the ones I’ve come across >are good. Let’s face it, they are in care not because they are bad… they >are in care because of shortcomings of their parents. >> They’re teenagers who can say "You’re not really my mother!" >So can 6 year olds. They probably said that because they were fighting with >you. They knew how to hurt you. They knew it would hurt. It shouldn’t >hurt… they just state the obvious… you are not their mother… you are >their foster mother… you can’t replace the real mother… only suppliment >their care. >> Fostering ends when they turn 18. There will be times when you will >> want to start counting the days. >Not with the right kid. Sometimes you never want to see them go. >> Having raised two girls of our own through teenhood I can tell you >> I am really appreciative of the fact that we foster infants. >Having raised two of our own girls I know that it takes a different set of >skills to raise teens as opposed to toddlers. Done correctly it can be just >as rewarding. >Bob
Response:
Sorry Rev Not all you have said has been proved as fact. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Rev. Mark Citro wrote in message <372F4165.9B58E…@online1.magnus1.com>… >Mike & Peg wrote: >> Rev. Mark, >> Why do you keep criticizing everything we foster parents do & say? What’s >> the big deal about calling a child a "kid", and why get after us when we use >> a label that was already given to a child? >> As a representative of the church, one would think you would be grateful >> that we are caring for "God’s" children instead of criticizing everything we >> do and say. >> Most of us subscribe to this ng for support, not to be criticized about >> everything we say. >So ignore the most important part of the post because you cannot handle >a little constructive criticism. Ok, that’s your perogative. As a >repersentative of The Body Of Christ, I find it important to address >anything that could be insulting to anyone, mainly children. We are >dealing with issues about children aren’t we, not goats? >So anyway if you would read the complete message about what I said you >would see that it says to think about it. >But either way, I am not going to argue with someone who just wants to >argue everything that isn’t to their liking. You can either accept what >I give as advice, since I have been doing this for almost 20 years, or >you can dismiss it. But remember that everything that I give to you as >advice had been already verified to be true. >Like it or not, it is the truth, so that ends the argument on my side >anyway, I will not address this topic again, for the benefit of those >who have to pay for how much they want to read. >GOD Bless >revmark
Response:
Hi David You must have to have the worst bad luck. I have never had a problem with any child in our care. We have left money and valuables laying around and never lost any. But I suppose you must get some children that have problems in that area. Ray Johnson (Australia) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -David Hatunen wrote in message <7gpq0s$t2…@ultra.sonic.net>… >In article <sfZX2.3144$p17.9457…@firenze.visi.net>, >Redneck <od…@hroads.net> wrote: >>I really appreciate all the constructive, non-venomous replies >>that I received. To the news group, I apologize for the cutting >>remarks that Rev Mark has contributed. I feel that I must >>apologize because I am also an ordained minister (>20 years now), >>and I have raised 2 bio children, and 1 homeless youth. I have >>ministered to kids in the barrios and ghettos from Mexico to the >>Arctic Circle in the course of my life. And the one thing that I >>have found that they need is love and understanding, and being >>told the honest truth with compassion. I was asking advice from >>you all because in this area you have that most precious of all >>that we need…EXPERIENCE. >I suppose my post was considered ‘venomous’, but I do feel I should >relate some of our experiences. >We once fostered a 16-year old boy named James. His 12-year old >brother was also in the system and James wanted to be with his >borther who was going to a special group home. To this end, the >16yo called the police and told them we had marijauna. Fortunately, >this was a small city in Kansas and the police knew James. We >searched our house and found a marijuana cigarette in one of the >knick-knacks on a shelf. We wonder if James wasn’t going to lead >the police straight to it. James hoped, apparently, that if he were >removed from our home he would be sent to wherever his brother was. >he got half of his wish: we asked that he be moved, but he didn’t >go wioth his brother. >Another time we fostered a teenaged girl. We had our own teenage >daughter at the time, and she began to find things missing. >One problem can be that YOU may want to think of the placement as >long-term and act accordingly, the teenager may not. I realize that >there are happy stories out there, and we have friends here that do >teenage fostering quite successfully, but this is partly because >they are willing to notify DSS when they have a child that seems to >be defying fitting in and having the child removed. It’s a >precarious judgemental line, but they fall on the side of >maintaining a good environment for the kids that do fit into their >home, or are willing to try. >Also, having raised two girls through teenhood to adulthood we >simply don’t want to go through that teen stuff again. No thank >you. >But to each his/her own. >– > ********** DAVE HATUNEN (hatu…@sonic.net) *********** > * Daly City California * > ******* My typos are intentional copyright traps ******
Response:
I wish you luck!!!! I had 3 teens for five years in permanent foster care. All went good, untill two of them ran, five years later. seeking there birth mother…….. there life’s have been ruined ever since. Be prepared for lot’s of tears. From my experience……..they almost ALWAY go back to the birth parent .
Response:
NO i believe that permanent foster care is the same as a goal of independent living.. .the child is not adoptable or has no parent/family resource… they therefore stay in care until they age out…. I guess some states name it something else….. we call it independent living in NY… permanent foster care must be a name in your state! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -CJ Washler wrote in message … >I have never heard of PERMANENT FOSTER CARE programs. I am in >Indiana and we just keep the children for as long as needed. The >reunification is aimed at less than one year, but if parents do >not get with the program and get their lives in order within 1 >year, the state of Indiana revokes all parental rights and the >child(ren) stay with Fosters until adoption. There is no special >"Permanent Foster Care Program"…just Fostering until they don’t >need you anymore. >I think we should all look at each child as if they were going to >be with us permanently… >– >Regards, >Cathy Washler, CPC >ContractCafe >ad…@contractcafe.com >==================================== >GET PAID TO SURF THE WEB >http://alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=aoc-071 >Bob <bobx2…@yahoo.com> wrote in message >news:3729087E.C6E5E045@yahoo.com… >: > They’re teenagers. That should be warning enough. >: >: Not all teens are bad… as a mater of fact most of the ones >I’ve come across >: are good. Let’s face it, they are in care not because they are >bad… they >: are in care because of shortcomings of their parents. >: >: > They’re teenagers who can say "You’re not really my mother!" >: >: So can 6 year olds. They probably said that because they were >fighting with >: you. They knew how to hurt you. They knew it would hurt. It >shouldn’t >: hurt… they just state the obvious… you are not their >mother… you are >: their foster mother… you can’t replace the real mother… >only suppliment >: their care. >: >: > Fostering ends when they turn 18. There will be times when >you will >: > want to start counting the days. >: >: Not with the right kid. Sometimes you never want to see them >go. >: >: >: > Having raised two girls of our own through teenhood I can >tell you >: > I am really appreciative of the fact that we foster infants. >: >: Having raised two of our own girls I know that it takes a >different set of >: skills to raise teens as opposed to toddlers. Done correctly >it can be just >: as rewarding. >: >: Bob >:
Response:
In article <372F2305.C561A…@online1.magnus1.com>, Rev. Mark Citro <revm…@online1.magnus1.com> wrote: >Listen folks, one thing has been bothering me and I would like you >to be open minded about it. I notice that alot of people (who used >to include myself, which I still slip from time to time) have been >referring to the children as kids. It bothers me because a kid is >a billy goat, and we are not raising billy goats. So see if you >could maybe stop with calling them kids, which would actually show >them that you care, in the long run.
Don’t you have anything serious to worry about? "Kids" is entrenched in the language, and you must be one of the only person I know of who thinks I’m a goatherder if I call the kids to supper. Sheesh. — ********** DAVE HATUNEN (hatu…@sonic.net) *********** * Daly City California: * * where San Francisco meets The Peninsula * ******* and the San Andreas Fault meets the Sea *******
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -David Hatunen wrote: > In article <372F2305.C561A…@online1.magnus1.com>, > Rev. Mark Citro <revm…@online1.magnus1.com> wrote: > >Listen folks, one thing has been bothering me and I would like you > >to be open minded about it. I notice that alot of people (who used > >to include myself, which I still slip from time to time) have been > >referring to the children as kids. It bothers me because a kid is > >a billy goat, and we are not raising billy goats. So see if you > >could maybe stop with calling them kids, which would actually show > >them that you care, in the long run. > Don’t you have anything serious to worry about? "Kids" is > entrenched in the language, and you must be one of the only person > I know of who thinks I’m a goatherder if I call the kids to supper. > Sheesh. > — > ********** DAVE HATUNEN (hatu…@sonic.net) *********** > * Daly City California: * > * where San Francisco meets The Peninsula * > ******* and the San Andreas Fault meets the Sea *******
<putting on goat costume> Naaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. (8^P) <removing goat costume>
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -David Hatunen wrote: > In article <372F2305.C561A…@online1.magnus1.com>, > Rev. Mark Citro <revm…@online1.magnus1.com> wrote: > >Listen folks, one thing has been bothering me and I would like you > >to be open minded about it. I notice that alot of people (who used > >to include myself, which I still slip from time to time) have been > >referring to the children as kids. It bothers me because a kid is > >a billy goat, and we are not raising billy goats. So see if you > >could maybe stop with calling them kids, which would actually show > >them that you care, in the long run. > Don’t you have anything serious to worry about? "Kids" is > entrenched in the language, and you must be one of the only person > I know of who thinks I’m a goatherder if I call the kids to supper. > Sheesh. > — > ********** DAVE HATUNEN (hatu…@sonic.net) *********** > * Daly City California: * > * where San Francisco meets The Peninsula * > ******* and the San Andreas Fault meets the Sea *******
I was wondering what that smell was. (8^P)
Response:
Rev. Mark, Why do you keep criticizing everything we foster parents do & say? What’s the big deal about calling a child a "kid", and why get after us when we use a label that was already given to a child? As a representative of the church, one would think you would be grateful that we are caring for "God’s" children instead of criticizing everything we do and say. Most of us subscribe to this ng for support, not to be criticized about everything we say.
Response:
Mike & Peg wrote: > Rev. Mark, > Why do you keep criticizing everything we foster parents do & say? What’s > the big deal about calling a child a "kid", and why get after us when we use > a label that was already given to a child? > As a representative of the church, one would think you would be grateful > that we are caring for "God’s" children instead of criticizing everything we > do and say. > Most of us subscribe to this ng for support, not to be criticized about > everything we say.
So ignore the most important part of the post because you cannot handle a little constructive criticism. Ok, that’s your perogative. As a repersentative of The Body Of Christ, I find it important to address anything that could be insulting to anyone, mainly children. We are dealing with issues about children aren’t we, not goats? So anyway if you would read the complete message about what I said you would see that it says to think about it. But either way, I am not going to argue with someone who just wants to argue everything that isn’t to their liking. You can either accept what I give as advice, since I have been doing this for almost 20 years, or you can dismiss it. But remember that everything that I give to you as advice had been already verified to be true. Like it or not, it is the truth, so that ends the argument on my side anyway, I will not address this topic again, for the benefit of those who have to pay for how much they want to read. GOD Bless revmark
Response:
> Rev. Mark Citro <revm…@online1.magnus1.com> wrote: > >Listen folks, one thing has been bothering me and I would like you > >to be open minded about it. I notice that alot of people (who used > >to include myself, which I still slip from time to time) have been > >referring to the children as kids. It bothers me because a kid is > >a billy goat, and we are not raising billy goats. So see if you > >could maybe stop with calling them kids, which would actually show > >them that you care, in the long run.
My kids are children, kids, and every other silly name I can think to call them in a day….as long as it isn’t a negative or belittling name. And, they know I love them all. Until it becomes an issue here in our home, where I feel it is not a "good" name for them to have, then I’m not inclined to change that aspect of my parenting. Theresa – mom to 7 kiddos
Response:
I have never heard of PERMANENT FOSTER CARE programs. I am in Indiana and we just keep the children for as long as needed. The reunification is aimed at less than one year, but if parents do not get with the program and get their lives in order within 1 year, the state of Indiana revokes all parental rights and the child(ren) stay with Fosters until adoption. There is no special "Permanent Foster Care Program"…just Fostering until they don’t need you anymore. I think we should all look at each child as if they were going to be with us permanently… — Regards, Cathy Washler, CPC ContractCafe ad…@contractcafe.com ==================================== GET PAID TO SURF THE WEB http://alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=aoc-071 Bob <bobx2…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3729087E.C6E5E045@yahoo.com… : > They’re teenagers. That should be warning enough. : : Not all teens are bad… as a mater of fact most of the ones I’ve come across : are good. Let’s face it, they are in care not because they are bad… they : are in care because of shortcomings of their parents. : : > They’re teenagers who can say "You’re not really my mother!" : : So can 6 year olds. They probably said that because they were fighting with : you. They knew how to hurt you. They knew it would hurt. It shouldn’t : hurt… they just state the obvious… you are not their mother… you are : their foster mother… you can’t replace the real mother… only suppliment : their care. : : > Fostering ends when they turn 18. There will be times when you will : > want to start counting the days. : : Not with the right kid. Sometimes you never want to see them go. : : : > Having raised two girls of our own through teenhood I can tell you : > I am really appreciative of the fact that we foster infants. : : Having raised two of our own girls I know that it takes a different set of : skills to raise teens as opposed to toddlers. Done correctly it can be just : as rewarding. : : Bob :
Response:
Redneck wrote: > My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My > question(s) to the group: > 1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent foster care. > 2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and what should > we be on the lookout for? > We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. > Any input would be much appreciated…… > Thanks > Ollie
Look forward to broken furniture, smashed doors, nasty looks, bad attitudes, lots of ARD meetings in school, and therapist meetings. Those are some of the things to look forward to, oh yeah, poor support from DSS, and DSS workers that will not always back you on your decisions(except for a select few) that are well trained. I know this because of being an advocate for children who are in permanent foster care. I work very close with the foster parents. And also get used to long drawn out training sessions that teach you alot less than you already know, if you are able to use common sense. Sorry if I sound negative, but these are the things that they never prepare you for, that you kind of find out after the children are placed in your home. If you can get through the first couple of years, you will do good, but don’t give up on the children, because it isn’t their fault that they have been misdirected, but you aren’t allowed to tell them that. I hope my honesty doesn’t scare you away, but these are things that they rarely prepare you for, before the children are placed with you. If you genuinely love children though, and really care about them, all of what I just told you will make you want to make it work, instead of scare you away. GOD Bless revmark
Response:
In article <sfZX2.3144$p17.9457…@firenze.visi.net>, Redneck <od…@hroads.net> wrote: >I really appreciate all the constructive, non-venomous replies >that I received. To the news group, I apologize for the cutting >remarks that Rev Mark has contributed. I feel that I must >apologize because I am also an ordained minister (>20 years now), >and I have raised 2 bio children, and 1 homeless youth. I have >ministered to kids in the barrios and ghettos from Mexico to the >Arctic Circle in the course of my life. And the one thing that I >have found that they need is love and understanding, and being >told the honest truth with compassion. I was asking advice from >you all because in this area you have that most precious of all >that we need…EXPERIENCE.
I suppose my post was considered ‘venomous’, but I do feel I should relate some of our experiences. We once fostered a 16-year old boy named James. His 12-year old brother was also in the system and James wanted to be with his borther who was going to a special group home. To this end, the 16yo called the police and told them we had marijauna. Fortunately, this was a small city in Kansas and the police knew James. We searched our house and found a marijuana cigarette in one of the knick-knacks on a shelf. We wonder if James wasn’t going to lead the police straight to it. James hoped, apparently, that if he were removed from our home he would be sent to wherever his brother was. he got half of his wish: we asked that he be moved, but he didn’t go wioth his brother. Another time we fostered a teenaged girl. We had our own teenage daughter at the time, and she began to find things missing. One problem can be that YOU may want to think of the placement as long-term and act accordingly, the teenager may not. I realize that there are happy stories out there, and we have friends here that do teenage fostering quite successfully, but this is partly because they are willing to notify DSS when they have a child that seems to be defying fitting in and having the child removed. It’s a precarious judgemental line, but they fall on the side of maintaining a good environment for the kids that do fit into their home, or are willing to try. Also, having raised two girls through teenhood to adulthood we simply don’t want to go through that teen stuff again. No thank you. But to each his/her own. — ********** DAVE HATUNEN (hatu…@sonic.net) *********** * Daly City California * ******* My typos are intentional copyright traps ******
Response:
Redneck <od…@hroads.net> wrote in message
news:WnZV2.2182$p17.5733981@firenze.visi.net… > My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My > question(s) to the group: > 1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent foster care. > 2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and what should > we be on the lookout for? > We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. > Any input would be much appreciated…… > Thanks > Ollie
I really appreciate all the constructive, non-venomous replies that I received. To the news group, I apologize for the cutting remarks that Rev Mark has contributed. I feel that I must apologize because I am also an ordained minister (>20 years now), and I have raised 2 bio children, and 1 homeless youth. I have ministered to kids in the barrios and ghettos from Mexico to the Arctic Circle in the course of my life. And the one thing that I have found that they need is love and understanding, and being told the honest truth with compassion. I was asking advice from you all because in this area you have that most precious of all that we need…EXPERIENCE. I am not an expert, but I’m smart enough to ask for help when I need it. Again, this may be a very muddled post, but I wanted to thank you all for your input..I’ll keep you posted on the progress if I may… Ollie
Response:
I agree wholeheartedly. If the Foster Parents treat the child(ren) as short term, the child(ren) will respond in kind. My foster son (soon to be adopted), was placed with us for 30 days (until a bed opened at a treatment center). That was over 2 years ago. He was labeled ‘non-placeable’ by our DHS. 12yo, doing badly in school, a horrible background, who would want him him. Now he is an honor roll student, an active member of a YMCA teen leadership program, a swim team member, a baseball team member, looking forward to the 8th grade prom. From the moment he entered our home, he was permanent. He is by the way, the bravest person I have ever met. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -CJ Washler wrote: > I have never heard of PERMANENT FOSTER CARE programs. I am in > Indiana and we just keep the children for as long as needed. The > reunification is aimed at less than one year, but if parents do > not get with the program and get their lives in order within 1 > year, the state of Indiana revokes all parental rights and the > child(ren) stay with Fosters until adoption. There is no special > "Permanent Foster Care Program"…just Fostering until they don’t > need you anymore. > I think we should all look at each child as if they were going to > be with us permanently… > — > Regards, > Cathy Washler, CPC > ContractCafe > ad…@contractcafe.com > ==================================== > GET PAID TO SURF THE WEB > http://alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=aoc-071 > Bob <bobx2…@yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:3729087E.C6E5E045@yahoo.com… > : > They’re teenagers. That should be warning enough. > : > : Not all teens are bad… as a mater of fact most of the ones > I’ve come across > : are good. Let’s face it, they are in care not because they are > bad… they > : are in care because of shortcomings of their parents. > : > : > They’re teenagers who can say "You’re not really my mother!" > : > : So can 6 year olds. They probably said that because they were > fighting with > : you. They knew how to hurt you. They knew it would hurt. It > shouldn’t > : hurt… they just state the obvious… you are not their > mother… you are > : their foster mother… you can’t replace the real mother… > only suppliment > : their care. > : > : > Fostering ends when they turn 18. There will be times when > you will > : > want to start counting the days. > : > : Not with the right kid. Sometimes you never want to see them > go. > : > : > : > Having raised two girls of our own through teenhood I can > tell you > : > I am really appreciative of the fact that we foster infants. > : > : Having raised two of our own girls I know that it takes a > different set of > : skills to raise teens as opposed to toddlers. Done correctly > it can be just > : as rewarding. > : > : Bob > :
Response:
> They’re teenagers. That should be warning enough.
Not all teens are bad… as a mater of fact most of the ones I’ve come across are good. Let’s face it, they are in care not because they are bad… they are in care because of shortcomings of their parents. > They’re teenagers who can say "You’re not really my mother!"
So can 6 year olds. They probably said that because they were fighting with you. They knew how to hurt you. They knew it would hurt. It shouldn’t hurt… they just state the obvious… you are not their mother… you are their foster mother… you can’t replace the real mother… only suppliment their care. > Fostering ends when they turn 18. There will be times when you will > want to start counting the days.
Not with the right kid. Sometimes you never want to see them go. > Having raised two girls of our own through teenhood I can tell you > I am really appreciative of the fact that we foster infants.
Having raised two of our own girls I know that it takes a different set of skills to raise teens as opposed to toddlers. Done correctly it can be just as rewarding. Bob
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> hi- > excuse my poor english grammar, but "it ain’t the kids fault"! I really > think that the bad times with fostering (and their ain’t many) are when > the biological parents act up. My foster daughter is well adjusted and > is a really good girl. We were suppose to take ages 9 and under when > we first started, but she needed a place and she was 10 at that time > and we said yes! all ages have different issue. I think the younger > children take more physical work, and the older ones take more mental. > Of course the older ones have more functions to go to but that is how > your biological children would be anyway. Fostering has been one of > the greatest rewards in my life so far!! Parenting your biological > children is a great experience but fostering a child is beyond that > and can be very enriching. You have to take one day at a time! Count > your blessing! Remember to be thankful for directions from God. These > children need us. > thanks- > Darlene > ———–== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==———- > http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
I didn’t say that it was the children’s fault, which it isn’t, but what I put before you are things that DSS never tells you about, that you kind of learn the hard way, after the children are placed with you. And by all means, it will not happen with all of the children in foster care, but could happen with most of them. Just remember, I am giving you a generalization for foster care in general, not for every foster child. Listen folks, one thing has been bothering me and I would like you to be open minded about it. I notice that alot of people (who used to include myself, which I still slip from time to time) have been referring to the children as kids. It bothers me because a kid is a billy goat, and we are not raising billy goats. So see if you could maybe stop with calling them kids, which would actually show them that you care, in the long run. Anyway, when I give such a post as up top there, it is a generalization, and not pertaining to all. Some of these children are the most adoreable and loveable children you would ever meet. While some (in the case of a little girl placed with one of my friends) are the cutest people, but are your worst nightmare. This little girl was so tiny, and so dainty, and so nasty, she would push the screens out in her windows, she would scream if you tried to discipline her, and she would antagonize the other children in the house. She broke just about every piece of furniture in her room, and was working on the furniture in the rest of the house when finally she had to be removed, because she was saying that the foster father was touching her inappropriately, when we could prove that he wasn’t. So there are exceptions on both sides. GOD Bless revmark
Response:
In article <372B8347.B642F…@online1.magnus1.com>, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - revm…@online1.magnus1.com wrote: > Redneck wrote: > > My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My > > question(s) to the group: > > 1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent foster care. > > 2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and what should > > we be on the lookout for? > > We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. > > Any input would be much appreciated…… > > Thanks > > Ollie > Look forward to broken furniture, smashed doors, nasty looks, bad > attitudes, lots of ARD meetings in school, and therapist meetings. > Those are some of the things to look forward to, oh yeah, poor support > from DSS, and DSS workers that will not always back you on your > decisions(except for a select few) that are well trained. I know this > because of being an advocate for children who are in permanent foster > care. I work very close with the foster parents. And also get used to > long drawn out training sessions that teach you alot less than you > already know, if you are able to use common sense. > Sorry if I sound negative, but these are the things that they never > prepare you for, that you kind of find out after the children are placed > in your home. If you can get through the first couple of years, you will > do good, but don’t give up on the children, because it isn’t their fault > that they have been misdirected, but you aren’t allowed to tell them > that. I hope my honesty doesn’t scare you away, but these are things > that they rarely prepare you for, before the children are placed with > you. If you genuinely love children though, and really care about them, > all of what I just told you will make you want to make it work, instead > of scare you away. > GOD Bless > revmark
hi- excuse my poor english grammar, but "it ain’t the kids fault"! I really think that the bad times with fostering (and their ain’t many) are when the biological parents act up. My foster daughter is well adjusted and is a really good girl. We were suppose to take ages 9 and under when we first started, but she needed a place and she was 10 at that time and we said yes! all ages have different issue. I think the younger children take more physical work, and the older ones take more mental. Of course the older ones have more functions to go to but that is how your biological children would be anyway. Fostering has been one of the greatest rewards in my life so far!! Parenting your biological children is a great experience but fostering a child is beyond that and can be very enriching. You have to take one day at a time! Count your blessing! Remember to be thankful for directions from God. These children need us. thanks- Darlene ———–== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==———- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Response:
My advice would be to have a greater age spread between the kids. It can lower the competition for your time. Having different school schedules and such can create a greater headache for scheduling but may also allow for more one-on-one time. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Redneck wrote: > My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My > question(s) to the group: > 1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent foster care. > 2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and what should > we be on the lookout for? > We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. > Any input would be much appreciated…… > Thanks > Ollie
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My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My question(s) to the group: 1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent foster care. 2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and what should we be on the lookout for? We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. Any input would be much appreciated…… Thanks Ollie
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In article <WnZV2.2182$p17.5733…@firenze.visi.net>, Redneck <od…@hroads.net> wrote: >My wife and I have recently been certified for permanent foster care. My >question(s) to the group: >1- Are there any others out there who have done the permanent >foster care. >2- If so, what were your experiences, trials, tribulations, and >what should we be on the lookout for? >We will be caring for 1 or 2 13-14 y.o. >Any input would be much appreciated……
They’re teenagers. That should be warning enough. They’re teenagers who can say "You’re not really my mother!" Fostering ends when they turn 18. There will be times when you will want to start counting the days. Having raised two girls of our own through teenhood I can tell you I am really appreciative of the fact that we foster infants. — ********** DAVE HATUNEN (hatu…@sonic.net) *********** * Daly City California: * * where San Francisco meets The Peninsula * ******* and the San Andreas Fault meets the Sea *******
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