Foster Parents FAQ » Foster Parents » Daughter is back!

Daughter is back!

Question:

Yesterday i was making xmas trees and daughter comes up the stairs to my studio.  I hadn’t heard from her in a month. Honestly, I am just not in the frame of mind to deal with this right now.   I just now have the entire house to myself all day from 7am to 3pm where I can work in peace and quiet.   I am trying so hard to do well at my businesss and it seems every single time I get back on track, there is some problem that disrupts my schedule.  The truth is that my family hinders me, not helps me. What I am saying is that I would like my daughter to stay here.  I just don’t want the problems, disruptions or mess. Ok why don’t I get down to it.  What is really bothering me about this. She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her eyes are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where the bruises came from. She tells me she has been shooting up heroin with that loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The idiot that shot himself in the leg. She is crying and says she has probably lost her house and she doesn’t want to stay with loser bf anymore and she has lost her job.  She says she wants to go back to the hospital. The thing is that the times I have let her come back here before, she doesn’t try to get back on track.  Here is what happens. She will lay and around and sleep for a few days.  Then she starts running around.  Next thing she is going out with the loser baby’s father again.  He starts calling the house and being verbally abusive. I tell her I don’t want it in my house.  She leaves big messes from her and her son for me to clean up.  I ask her nicely to clean up after herself and her child.  She gets defensive about it. Eventaully there is a big blow up because of her asshole bf violating my boundaries and then she leaves. This exact scenario happened at least 4 or 5 times. It majorly disrupts my life for several months. Then after she leaves again, it take me a week to clean up the messes she left, it take me a week or 2 to get my nerves calmed back down. I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and take action to do something else with her life. Now I have not told her about my hospital episode a little over a week ago.  I am not mentally able to deal with a lot of problems right now. I am supposed to be de stressing and trying to relax.  I am trying to work on my own problems right now. My husband doesnt’ want her here at all. My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! Loev, Ms Patns

Response:

>My husband doesnt’ want her here at all. >My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all!

Your daughter seems almost beyond repair. This crap sounds straight out of an Irvine Welsh novel. Which makes for entertaining reading, but in real life is not good at all. I don’t blame you for wanting to run away!

Response:

On 06 Sep 2002 01:55:06 GMT, trance…@aol.com (Trance909) wrote: >>My husband doesnt’ want her here at all. >>My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! >Your daughter seems almost beyond repair. This crap sounds straight out of an >Irvine Welsh novel. Which makes for entertaining reading, but in real life is >not good at all. I don’t blame you for wanting to run away!

Tahnk you!  It is funny how I have gotten to a point in my life where I just want to be left alone. Loev, Ms Pnats

Response:

its all a fake story hehe, dont belive the hype. "Wry Bread" <wrybr…@nwlink.REMOVEcom> wrote in message

news:une6g3fnuaa59a@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Mz Pants <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote: > Jesus Christ.  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  If you let this > continue, someone is gonna end up dead.  I would threaten to take custody of > the 2 yr old until such time that she gets into rehab, and basically > ex-communicate her until she does so.

Response:

"Mz Pants" <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote in message

news:3d75f8e1.5010653@news.alt.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yesterday i was making xmas trees and daughter comes up the stairs to > my studio.  I hadn’t heard from her in a month. > Honestly, I am just not in the frame of mind to deal with this right > now. > I just now have the entire house to myself all day from 7am to 3pm > where I can work in peace and quiet. > I am trying so hard to do well at my businesss and it seems every > single time I get back on track, there is some problem that disrupts > my schedule.  The truth is that my family hinders me, not helps me. > What I am saying is that I would like my daughter to stay here.  I > just don’t want the problems, disruptions or mess. > Ok why don’t I get down to it.  What is really bothering me about > this. > She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her eyes > are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where the bruises > came from. She tells me she has been shooting up heroin with that > loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The idiot that shot himself > in the leg. > She is crying and says she has probably lost her house and she doesn’t > want to stay with loser bf anymore and she has lost her job.  She says > she wants to go back to the hospital. > The thing is that the times I have let her come back here before, she > doesn’t try to get back on track.  Here is what happens. > She will lay and around and sleep for a few days.  Then she starts > running around.  Next thing she is going out with the loser baby’s > father again.  He starts calling the house and being verbally abusive. > I tell her I don’t want it in my house.  She leaves big messes from > her and her son for me to clean up.  I ask her nicely to clean up > after herself and her child.  She gets defensive about it. > Eventaully there is a big blow up because of her asshole bf violating > my boundaries and then she leaves. > This exact scenario happened at least 4 or 5 times. > It majorly disrupts my life for several months. Then after she leaves > again, it take me a week to clean up the messes she left, it take me a > week or 2 to get my nerves calmed back down. > I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She > needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and take > action to do something else with her life. > Now I have not told her about my hospital episode a little over a week > ago.  I am not mentally able to deal with a lot of problems right now. > I am supposed to be de stressing and trying to relax.  I am trying to > work on my own problems right now. > My husband doesnt’ want her here at all. > My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! > Loev, > Ms Patns

Hi, i know this sounds bad/but/, if your daughter is old enough to have a child and shoot up heroin she is old enough to take care of her own messed up life.  Tell her about your hospital stay and tell her you cannot take on her life anymore.  You have a husband that doesn’t want her or her loser bf there and if you allow her to come back in after 4 or 5 times it’s only going to end up costing you your marriage and your health.  If she is as bad as you say she also should not have her child.  What kind of life can he expect with a mother and father like that?  You would be doing him a favor if you called child welfare about her and had the child removed from her custody, you know that the child is going to end up dead unless she changes her ways and it doesn’t sound as if that’s going to happen.  Don’t take her in, i’m sorry if this sounds mean or cold but you have a life too and it’s not fair for her to steal your life while she screws up hers and her child’s too.  Good luck either way. tom

Response:

On Thu, 5 Sep 2002 01:41:07 -0700, "Wry Bread" <wrybr…@nwlink.REMOVEcom> wrote: >Mz Pants <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote: >Jesus Christ.  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  If you let this >continue, someone is gonna end up dead.  I would threaten to take custody of >the 2 yr old until such time that she gets into rehab, and basically >ex-communicate her until she does so.

It is very difficult to get custody here. Loev, Ms Pants

Response:

Mz Pants <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote:

Jesus Christ.  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  If you let this continue, someone is gonna end up dead.  I would threaten to take custody of the 2 yr old until such time that she gets into rehab, and basically ex-communicate her until she does so.

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 12:50:46 -0700, "Kali" <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote: >"Average Joe" <average…@mysolution.ws> wrote in message >news:al5lqj$9no$0@pita.alt.net… >> you suggested pro-activeness and not reactiveness, pro-activeness >> implies a first resort not a last resort, I’ll accept the possibility >> that you overlooked this accidentally instead of maliciously although >> someone trained in the field who particpates in the field does have a >> responsibility to not overlook things, in either case apologize to the >> lady for steering her astray >The "lady" in question is a self-professed troll and usenet performance >artist (whatever that means) which you can easily verify on Google.  She >posts strange things all over the place.  

You noticed! >If the problem is even real >(which I my doubts about) and she specifically only wanted advice from >those trained in psychology or psychotherapy, then I’d be curious to know >why she would be cross-posting such an off-topic matter to groups relating >to shyness and depression instead of on-topic groups such as those >relating to domestic violence.  Perhaps you should be asking her for an >apology for wasting your time.

If I was trolling I would have crossposted to dozens of froups not just 3.  I picked the 3 froups because of the intelligent people who read those froups and they might have something helpful. Loev, Ms Pants

Response:

On Thu,  5 Sep 2002 00:49:34 -0400, ^reaper^ <knock…@deaths.door> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >Hash: SHA1 >In article <unc5j2o1278…@corp.supernews.com>, >Kali <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote: >> "Mz Pants" <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote in message >> news:3d75f8e1.5010653@news.alt.net… >> > She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her >> > eyes are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where >> > the bruises came from. She tells me she has been shooting up >> > heroin with that loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The >> > idiot that shot himself in the leg. >> > I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She >> > needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and >> > take action to do something else with her life. >> Perhaps you need to get a little tougher in this situation. >> Whether you let her stay or not, when she does go back, call >> children’s protective services and they will most likely take her >> child away from her.  She’s not exactly a fit mother and maybe the >> shock would motivate her to get straightened out to get custody >> back.  Or if that doesn’t motivate her, at least your grandchild >> won’t have to grow up like that.   >Dammit Kali, why’dya hafta go say that?! CPS is the last place a kid >should be. If Mz "troll" Pants is that concerned, she oughta jest >file fer custody herself (or try ta get a relative ta help out), >steada gettin them overworked underpaid idjit childsavers involved. >Fsck, once them people’s involved they’re laik thet annoying relative >who can’t take a hint thet they’re welcome’s run out. Thet, and >they’d jest ship her off ta some roach infested ghetto where dem >foster mom’s collect da kids jest ta git their foodstamps.

Agreed!  I don’t want my grandson living in a roach infested ghetto or ignoratnt trailer trash with strangers.  I would rather have him live with me in my quiet safe rural home. Anyway, the past 2 days have been pretty fun for me and the grandson. We played all day and both went to bed tired and satisfied with life. The boy is very smart.  He has a huge vocab for being 2. Loev, Ms Pants

Response:

"Average Joe" <average…@mysolution.ws> wrote in message

news:al5lqj$9no$0@pita.alt.net… > you suggested pro-activeness and not reactiveness, pro-activeness > implies a first resort not a last resort, I’ll accept the possibility > that you overlooked this accidentally instead of maliciously although > someone trained in the field who particpates in the field does have a > responsibility to not overlook things, in either case apologize to the > lady for steering her astray

The "lady" in question is a self-professed troll and usenet performance artist (whatever that means) which you can easily verify on Google.  She posts strange things all over the place.  If the problem is even real (which I my doubts about) and she specifically only wanted advice from those trained in psychology or psychotherapy, then I’d be curious to know why she would be cross-posting such an off-topic matter to groups relating to shyness and depression instead of on-topic groups such as those relating to domestic violence.  Perhaps you should be asking her for an apology for wasting your time.

Response:

"Average Joe" <average…@mysolution.ws> wrote in news:al5lqj$9no$0 @pita.alt.net: > Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. > It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. > – -William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)

I’m not a homosexual, I just married Brad for the money. -William Pitt, (1976-?)

Response:

"Mz Pants" <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote in message

news:3d75f8e1.5010653@news.alt.net… > She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her eyes > are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where the bruises > came from. She tells me she has been shooting up heroin with that > loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The idiot that shot himself > in the leg. > I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She > needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and take > action to do something else with her life.

Perhaps you need to get a little tougher in this situation.  Whether you let her stay or not, when she does go back, call children’s protective services and they will most likely take her child away from her.  She’s not exactly a fit mother and maybe the shock would motivate her to get straightened out to get custody back.  Or if that doesn’t motivate her, at least your grandchild won’t have to grow up like that.

Response:

My gut is telling me that this has absoultely nothing to do with shyness. For the 5th (6th?) time, please stop trolling here. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! > Loev, > Ms Patns

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 15:15:22 +0000 (UTC), "Mr. Teatime" <mr_teatime…@hotmail.com> wrote: >My gut is telling me that this has absoultely nothing to do with shyness. >For the 5th (6th?) time, please stop trolling here. >> My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! >> Loev, >> Ms Patns

Is there a reason you have crossposted this to so many groups? Kenster/MM/Dumpster/KensDead/OBL/SOB/Ken/BBM/WMM/AM/PM CadaverKid/MOE/Undead

Response:

"Kenster" <memorysu…@NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message

news:3d763303.341875265@news.verizon.net… > On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 15:15:22 +0000 (UTC), "Mr. Teatime" > <mr_teatime…@hotmail.com> wrote: > >My gut is telling me that this has absoultely nothing to do with shyness. > >For the 5th (6th?) time, please stop trolling here. > >> My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! > >> Loev, > >> Ms Patns > Is there a reason you have crossposted this to so many groups?

There is a reason.  She freely admits to being a troll.

Response:

—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– Hash: SHA1 "Kali" <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote in message

news:unc5j2o1278k43@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Mz Pants" <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote in message > news:3d75f8e1.5010653@news.alt.net… > > She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her eyes > > are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where the bruises > > came from. She tells me she has been shooting up heroin with that > > loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The idiot that shot himself > > in the leg. > > I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She > > needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and take > > action to do something else with her life. > Perhaps you need to get a little tougher in this situation.  Whether you let > her stay or not, when she does go back, call children’s protective services > and they will most likely take her child away from her.  She’s not exactly a > fit mother and maybe the shock would motivate her to get straightened out to > get custody back.  Or if that doesn’t motivate her, at least your grandchild > won’t have to grow up like that.

something only someone who financially benefits by child protective services would say perhaps her daughter would be doomed to a lifetime of remorse, regret and depression, never achieve the "motivation" to pursue a normal life and as far as the child goes, just where do you get the idea of foster care is so great? stories of abuse, lack of real love, lack of commitment ala lack of funds spent to generate income for the child such as college expoenses or means of transportation, you’re suggesting dooming the child to a second class upbringing brakeing up families is not the goal of psychotherapy last time I checked, it is a LAST RESORT and you would behoove yourself professionally to refer to it as such my advice, explain to your daughter the repurcussions of her behavior, if she is not willing to heed the warnings of personal dangers to drugs she may be willing to heed the warning that there are financially motivated "professionals" more than willing to take her child away as which Kali is evidence of, role modeling is also effective, very sobering to speak to someone who has suffered such repurcussions I know many women who have lost their children due to their lifestyles, most often drugs are involved, usually they get caught for some petty theft or drug possession and the authorities take their kids away, sometimes the grandparents are lucky enough to get custody – — Copyright 2002, Average Joe, permission to distribute with recognition of source. All of my ideas are founded upon the basis for my ideas which is most frequently a result of other’s ideas. my solution to the world’s problems www.mysolution.ws Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. – -William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806) —–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—– Version: 5.5.3a iQA/AwUBPXY10e1VaycunBoEEQL5XQCfVXLlZj1GxYiYBD2SgRS+MuSPocEAnjmC o9lMgsNKT/XHO73LfulHdhXH =teQ0 —–END PGP SIGNATURE—–

Response:

"Average Joe" <average…@mysolution.ws> wrote in message

news:al5cll$hmq$0@pita.alt.net… > something only someone who financially benefits by child protective > services would say > perhaps her daughter would be doomed to a lifetime of remorse, regret > and depression, never achieve the "motivation" to pursue a normal life

Better than that forcing her child to live with a father who beats her mother on a routine basis and both parents being high on heroin all the time. > and as far as the child goes, just where do you get the idea of foster > care is so great? stories of abuse, lack of real love, lack of > commitment ala lack of funds spent to generate income for the child > such as college expoenses or means of transportation, you’re > suggesting dooming the child to a second class upbringing

Where do you get the idea that living with a violent father and a drug-addicted mother such as the child has is better?  Surely you’re not suggesting that growing up watching the parents do drugs and seeing the mother beaten up regularly is a first class upbringing?  The last time the father had an accident with his gun, he shot himself in the presence of the child.  Next time it may be the child who gets shot.  Surely you don’t think this is a good thing? > brakeing up families is not the goal of psychotherapy last time I > checked, it is a LAST RESORT and you would behoove yourself > professionally to refer to it as such

It is the last resort.  The first preference when a child is removed is that CPS attempts to give custody to a family member.  In fact, sometimes CPS tries way to hard to keep families together.  I see way too many news stories where CPS investigated and left the children in the home or returned them to parents who later beat and killed them.

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 08:47:10 -0700, "Kali" <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->"Kenster" <memorysu…@NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message >news:3d763303.341875265@news.verizon.net… >> On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 15:15:22 +0000 (UTC), "Mr. Teatime" >> <mr_teatime…@hotmail.com> wrote: >> >My gut is telling me that this has absoultely nothing to do with >shyness. >> >For the 5th (6th?) time, please stop trolling here. >> >> My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! >> >> Loev, >> >> Ms Patns >> Is there a reason you have crossposted this to so many groups? >There is a reason.  She freely admits to being a troll.

Oh, well that explains it then…..Thanks…:) Kenster/MM/Dumpster/KensDead/OBL/SOB/Ken/BBM/WMM/AM/PM CadaverKid/MOE/Undead

Response:

do the New York Detox method. Tie her up in the basement for several weeks and she will get heroin out cold turkey. "Mz Pants" <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote in message

news:3d75f8e1.5010653@news.alt.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yesterday i was making xmas trees and daughter comes up the stairs to > my studio.  I hadn’t heard from her in a month. > Honestly, I am just not in the frame of mind to deal with this right > now. > I just now have the entire house to myself all day from 7am to 3pm > where I can work in peace and quiet. > I am trying so hard to do well at my businesss and it seems every > single time I get back on track, there is some problem that disrupts > my schedule.  The truth is that my family hinders me, not helps me. > What I am saying is that I would like my daughter to stay here.  I > just don’t want the problems, disruptions or mess. > Ok why don’t I get down to it.  What is really bothering me about > this. > She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her eyes > are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where the bruises > came from. She tells me she has been shooting up heroin with that > loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The idiot that shot himself > in the leg. > She is crying and says she has probably lost her house and she doesn’t > want to stay with loser bf anymore and she has lost her job.  She says > she wants to go back to the hospital. > The thing is that the times I have let her come back here before, she > doesn’t try to get back on track.  Here is what happens. > She will lay and around and sleep for a few days.  Then she starts > running around.  Next thing she is going out with the loser baby’s > father again.  He starts calling the house and being verbally abusive. > I tell her I don’t want it in my house.  She leaves big messes from > her and her son for me to clean up.  I ask her nicely to clean up > after herself and her child.  She gets defensive about it. > Eventaully there is a big blow up because of her asshole bf violating > my boundaries and then she leaves. > This exact scenario happened at least 4 or 5 times. > It majorly disrupts my life for several months. Then after she leaves > again, it take me a week to clean up the messes she left, it take me a > week or 2 to get my nerves calmed back down. > I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She > needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and take > action to do something else with her life. > Now I have not told her about my hospital episode a little over a week > ago.  I am not mentally able to deal with a lot of problems right now. > I am supposed to be de stressing and trying to relax.  I am trying to > work on my own problems right now. > My husband doesnt’ want her here at all. > My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! > Loev, > Ms Patns

Response:

its a troll but I find them entertaining. "Mr. Teatime" <mr_teatime…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:al5829$fe3$1@helle.btinternet.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My gut is telling me that this has absoultely nothing to do with shyness. > For the 5th (6th?) time, please stop trolling here. > > My gut is telling me to pack my stuff and run far away from them all! > > Loev, > > Ms Patns

Response:

—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– Hash: SHA1 "Kali" <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote in message

news:uncf6nvj09q01@corp.supernews.com… > It is the last resort.

you suggested pro-activeness and not reactiveness, pro-activeness implies a first resort not a last resort, I’ll accept the possibility that you overlooked this accidentally instead of maliciously although someone trained in the field who particpates in the field does have a responsibility to not overlook things, in either case apologize to the lady for steering her astray – — Copyright 2002, Average Joe, permission to distribute with recognition of source. All of my ideas are founded upon the basis for my ideas which is most frequently a result of other’s ideas. my solution to the world’s problems www.mysolution.ws Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. – -William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806) —–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—– Version: 5.5.3a iQA/AwUBPXZQju1VaycunBoEEQLpwACgy/73ONDHabrWMYRCoSybmRqjWEwAoJ9z 4FAX9GPKKWAt+lqn/4dhKpm8 =YQry —–END PGP SIGNATURE—–

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 14:27:31 -0400, "Average Joe" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<average…@mysolution.ws> wrote: >—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >Hash: SHA1 >"Kali" <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote in message >news:uncf6nvj09q01@corp.supernews.com… >> It is the last resort. >you suggested pro-activeness and not reactiveness, pro-activeness >implies a first resort not a last resort, I’ll accept the possibility >that you overlooked this accidentally instead of maliciously although >someone trained in the field who particpates in the field does have a >responsibility to not overlook things, in either case apologize to the >lady for steering her astray

Thanks Joe for your level headed replies. Loev, Ms Pants

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 15:15:22 +0000 (UTC), "Mr. Teatime" <mr_teatime…@hotmail.com> wrote: >My gut is telling me that this has absoultely nothing to do with shyness. >For the 5th (6th?) time, please stop trolling here.

For the 50 billionth time, if you don’t like my posts don’t read them. No one is forcing you to read my posts and reply to them. Loev, Ms Pnats

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 14:25:58 -0400, "Hugo Drax" <hugod…@draxindustries.com> wrote: >do the New York Detox method. Tie her up in the basement for several weeks >and she will get heroin out cold turkey.

I wonder how long it takes to become addicted to heroin. Maybe I should go ask FANG. Loev, Ms Pnats

Response:

On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 12:33:25 -0400, "Average Joe" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<average…@mysolution.ws> wrote: >—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– >Hash: SHA1 >"Kali" <ka…@hotpop.com_REMOVE> wrote in message >news:unc5j2o1278k43@corp.supernews.com… >> "Mz Pants" <leg…@myownmind.com> wrote in message >> news:3d75f8e1.5010653@news.alt.net… >> > She shows up here with her 2 year old.  She looks like hell. Her >eyes >> > are black.  She has bruises on her arms.  I ask her where the >bruises >> > came from. She tells me she has been shooting up heroin with that >> > loser boyfriend for the past 2-3 weeks.  The idiot that shot >himself >> > in the leg. >> > I really truly want to help her but she has to help herself.  She >> > needs to stay away from these creeps and stay off the drugs and >take >> > action to do something else with her life. >> Perhaps you need to get a little tougher in this situation.  Whether >you let >> her stay or not, when she does go back, call children’s protective >services >> and they will most likely take her child away from her.  She’s not >exactly a >> fit mother and maybe the shock would motivate her to get >straightened out to >> get custody back.  Or if that doesn’t motivate her, at least your >grandchild >> won’t have to grow up like that. >something only someone who financially benefits by child protective >services would say

Good point. >perhaps her daughter would be doomed to a lifetime of remorse, regret >and depression, never achieve the "motivation" to pursue a normal life

True. >and as far as the child goes, just where do you get the idea of foster >care is so great? stories of abuse, lack of real love, lack of >commitment ala lack of funds spent to generate income for the child >such as college expoenses or means of transportation, you’re >suggesting dooming the child to a second class upbringing

I never have heard of foster care being so great.   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->brakeing up families is not the goal of psychotherapy last time I >checked, it is a LAST RESORT and you would behoove yourself >professionally to refer to it as such >my advice, explain to your daughter the repurcussions of her behavior, >if she is not willing to heed the warnings of personal dangers to >drugs she may be willing to heed the warning that there are >financially motivated "professionals" more than willing to take her >child away as which Kali is evidence of, role modeling is also >effective, very sobering to speak to someone who has suffered such >repurcussions >I know many women who have lost their children due to their >lifestyles, most often drugs are involved, usually they get caught for >some petty theft or drug possession and the authorities take their >kids away, sometimes the grandparents are lucky enough to get custody

She is going to her therapist on Friday.  I may go with her this one time. Loev, Ms Pnta

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