Foster Parents FAQ » Foster Parents » this letter i wrote (spoiler: abuse)

this letter i wrote (spoiler: abuse)

Question:

ok, we’ve talked about this…so much…please come away from there…please, please, please…oh, babe I worry so much…I know, I know…you have to move thru the feelings as they hit – but it’s so hard watching you bleed. peace, peace, peace, peace, please….peace for elegy…please… rune – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i cant send this letter not ever not that or any other letter i write supposed to be taking all this back supposed to be saying that i made it all up for attention supposed to be making it all go away so he wont make it all go away make me go away dont know what hed do if i wrote that know hed read it somehow even if sent it snail mail would read it she would show it to him or hed find it hed know hed know and be so mad so mad hurt me not want hurt scared hed be so mad cant forget christmas was a warning pressing me into that corner so angry scared me so much touched me bad bad he knows the power he has over me and i cant forget that power he has over me i cant let myself i shouldnt be doing this i shouldnt be even thinking this i will never be free of it dont understand how it could have been three months since he last hurt me know it will be so bad next time know he will have to hurt me so bad so bad because of all that ive done because im being so bad because i dont love him anymore have to love him have to hes my father he has done so much for me all my life i owe him this i owe him myself i owe him everything that i can give him — For more information about this posting service, contact: services If you wish to get an anonymous email/posting account, visit our sign-up page: http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

Response:

elegy: You are not b*d for what happened to you. You are in control of your b*dy and your mind and nobody can ever take that away from you again. You are in control! You are not to blame for the ab*se, you did not ask for it, you did not deserve it. Trust me, elegy, you are a good person and not a b*d one. Please keep writing and posting as much as you think that you can. Darren. — History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.   –Sir Winston Spencer Churchill ICQ # : 2866982

Response:

Guy, we are talking…it’s just behind the scenes…don’t worry…elegy is receiving as much love and support as she can handle. You are a dear man, and this line:  "You do not belong to him.  You are his child, not his property."  made me shout RIGHT ON GUY! I hear you, ele hears you…time and healing, we are searching for time and healing. thanks for being who you are Guy… rune – appreciating the BullGuy "We all come and go unknown Each so deep and superficial Between the forceps and the stone." Joni Mitchell – Hejira http://people.we.mediaone.net/rune

Response:

<gently snipped hes my father he has done so much for me all my life i owe him this i owe him myself i owe him everything that i can give him

Yes, he is your father and I am sure that you care about him and that he has done a lot of good things for you. But Elegy is also a very sick man and has done alot of terrible things to you.  That is sad, but it is not your fault. You owe him nothing. He has already taken from you far more than he was ever entitled to have. I know how painful this is. I know. But this abuse must not be allowed to continue for the sake of all concerned. Please keep yourself safe. Please. Wishing I had some peace to send you, Gabby

Response:

 im being so bad because i dont love him anymore have to love him have to hes my father he has done so much for me all my life i owe him this i owe him myself i owe him everything that i can give him

Elegy, 1. You’re not "bad". You’re in a hell of a lot of pain caused by someone who SHOULD have known better. 2. You owe your father nothing. And I’m guessing that he probably owes you far more than he will be able to give. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can keep talking about what’s going on with you and that you stay safely away from him and can give yourself time to heal. Take care of yourself! James  "Hate is the opposite of Love and both gain momentum."    – Miles Davis

Response:

Ah, elegy, my heart is breaking for you tonight. I wish I could make all this go away. I wish this had never happened to you. I wish I could hug you and comfort you in rl. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i cant send this letter not ever not that or any other letter i write supposed to be taking all this back supposed to be saying that i made it all up for attention supposed to be making it all go away so he wont make it all go away make me go away dont know what hed do if i wrote that know hed read it somehow even if sent it snail mail would read it she would show it to him or hed find it hed know hed know and be so mad so mad hurt me not want hurt scared hed be so mad cant forget christmas was a warning pressing me into that corner so angry scared me so much touched me bad bad he knows the power he has over me and i cant forget that power he has over me i cant let myself i shouldnt be doing this i shouldnt be even thinking this i will never be free of it dont understand how it could have been three months since he last hurt me know it will be so bad next time know he will have to hurt me so bad so bad because of all that ive done because im being so bad because i dont love him anymore have to love him have to hes my father he has done so much for me all my life i owe him this i owe him myself i owe him everything that i can give him father in name only.  you don’t owe him anything.  not *anything*.

– Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.                                         Martin Luther King, Jr.

Response:

Honey, you owe that "man" NOTHING. Your parents were given the wonderful gift that is you, and they have proved themselves entirely unworthy of that blessing.  Your father turned life into a continuing nightmare and your mother let it keep happening.   You do not owe it to them to make yourself out to be a liar just because they refuse to handle the truth.  You don’t owe either of them fear, loyalty, honor, respect, obedience, deference, or love.  You *especially* do not owe them love. They owe you, however, and they owe you big-time.  They may be no way for you to collect on that debt, but I’m sure that somewhere, somehow, they will pay.  By whatever name you give it, I believe there is a force to be reckoned with and that people such as they will have a very bad time of it when they are called to account.  Captain Karma always collects…with interest. Hold on, Elegy. Hold on to your alligator. Hold on to the love coming to you from people all around the world. You are encircled by that love; no matter which way you turn, you’re facing toward someone who cares. And you don’t owe us anything, either, BTW. Breathe, sweet girl.   Breathe. And rest, knowing you are loved. posted & emailed

Response:

elegy, You don’t have to fake it. I wish there was something we could do to make things better for you. :-( -Mike – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – elegy, It’s great to have an extended family. I take it from some of the posts I have seen from you tonight that you are doing better? no, not really, but trying really hard to fake it….. elegy — For more information about this posting service, contact: If you wish to get an anonymous email/posting account, visit our sign-up page: http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

– The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games of mankind. There is no play in then, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.  - Henry David Thoreau

Response:

elegy, It’s great to have an extended family. I take it from some of the posts I have seen from you tonight that you are doing better? -Mike – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – elegy, One thing I think that you must remember. After seeing much of this thread I can say that you have here a great many foster parents here. Please draw upon their strength to help you get through this. They may not be your father but they love you greatly. -Mike thanks, mike, for pointing that out. it is very true, i have a great number of people on this group who are so much more like family to me than my family has ever been. i’m lucky to have such wonderful people like them in my life. elegy — For more information about this posting service, contact: If you wish to get an anonymous email/posting account, visit our sign-up page: http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

– The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games of mankind. There is no play in then, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.  - Henry David Thoreau

Response:

elegy, Guy said: You do not belong to him.  You are his child, not his property.  Children are loved and protected, they are not broken to feed some sick perversion. This is so true! Children are NOT property and should not be treated as such. Children are to be loved above all. It sounds to me like your father had some great problems of his own that he never was able to work out and now he takes them out on you. No human being has power over another unless the other person lets them. PLEASE don’t let him have the power. -Mike

Response:

elegy, One thing I think that you must remember. After seeing much of this thread I can say that you have here a great many foster parents here. Please draw upon their strength to help you get through this. They may not be your father but they love you greatly. -Mike – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i cant send this letter not ever not that or any other letter i write supposed to be taking all this back supposed to be saying that i made it all up for attention supposed to be making it all go away so he wont make it all go away make me go away dont know what hed do if i wrote that know hed read it somehow even if sent it snail mail would read it she would show it to him or hed find it hed know hed know and be so mad so mad hurt me not want hurt scared hed be so mad cant forget christmas was a warning pressing me into that corner so angry scared me so much touched me bad bad he knows the power he has over me and i cant forget that power he has over me i cant let myself i shouldnt be doing this i shouldnt be even thinking this i will never be free of it dont understand how it could have been three months since he last hurt me know it will be so bad next time know he will have to hurt me so bad so bad because of all that ive done because im being so bad because i dont love him anymore have to love him have to hes my father he has done so much for me all my life i owe him this i owe him myself i owe him everything that i can give him — For more information about this posting service, contact: If you wish to get an anonymous email/posting account, visit our sign-up page: http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

– The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games of mankind. There is no play in then, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.  - Henry David Thoreau

Response:

Related Posts

Leave a Reply